Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
No questions asked my arse would be on the way to where ever she is in a matter of seconds. She is my BFF for a million reasons and I couldn't imagine not being there. Though to be completely honest in the 14 years we have known each other we haven't gotten in a single fight and I just don't see that being an issue.
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Ha! I can come up with more than one answer for this and some of them I don't want the world to know. Buuuuuttttttt.... This is kinda saying what do you regret and honestly I don't really regret anything. There are things I should have done differently but without doing the things I did I wouldn't be the person I am today.
But a real honest to goodness answer would be Not gotten myself into debt. I'm almost out. And I know that my debt was NOTHING compared to some people but I am mad at myself for letting it get as far as I did. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
SAVED SAVED SAVED! Money that is. Goes along with above but had I saved more we would be able to have our current dream home much faster. Not that we are hurting but it would be nice to have more.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
I don't really see how this is a truth so.... I'm skipping it. :)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Because I have never wanted to die and I take care of myself?! What kind of question is this? There are a million and one reasons I'm alive the major reason is to be the best mom to my little B though.
xoxo...P
Showing posts with label 30 Days of Truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30 Days of Truth. Show all posts
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
30 Days of Truth 18, 19 and 20
Well we survived the blizzard - barely. It is hard to say exactly how much snow we got since we live in the wide open and the winds were gusting up to about 70mph at times but we heard they are estimating our town at 20-22". We have 6'tall snow drifts in our yard and now that J has plowed our driveway we have hills that are about 8'. We lost power 3 times but thankfully only a matter of about 2 minutes at the longest.
But.... by barely I mean my Brynnie isn't feeling good. She had a fever of 102.5* and was so sad all the time. She wouldn't sleep yesterday or last night unless she was being held. Not that I minded that at all. She woke up this morning and her temp was down slightly to 101.3 and now it seems to have gone. Last I checked she was at 98.0 :) She is still a bit fussy and I actually think the cause of all of it is teething but only time will tell on that one.
Onto the 30 Days of Truth (I should probably just be calling this 30 Truths since I threw out that day thing huh?)
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
I have no issues with gay marriage. If you love someone who am I to say you can't be with them? It may not be for me but I don't see why people have problems with it.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Well as for religion I would have to say I am more of a spiritual person than a religious person. I appreciate that everyone has their own beliefs but I get upset when people try and push their religion on me. I believe in God. I believe in a higher being. I do not go to church. I will celebrate my religion in my way.
Politics are a whole other subject.... I will sum up my feelings on politics with this story. One night J & I were talking to B and telling her how wonderful she is and that she has the ability to be anything she wants in life. I then said you can be anything but don't be a bad person, like a prostitute or murderer or thief. Don't lie and lead people to believe one thing and then do another. All Jeff said was in other words Don't be a politician. I about died laughing from laughing so hard. I try and avoid talking about politics.
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Drugs are def not for me. I don't see what good that they can possibly do. Prescription drugs are even too much for some people. As for alcohol I will admit I like my adult beverages. At one time in my life I liked to have too many in a night. Now I am at a point that I drink for the taste because I enjoy it not because I want to get drunk.
I know too many people who use one or the other too frequently and have gotten themselves addicted and into a mess of trouble. I'll just stick with my wine and margaritas on occasion and be a happy girl.
xoxo....P
But.... by barely I mean my Brynnie isn't feeling good. She had a fever of 102.5* and was so sad all the time. She wouldn't sleep yesterday or last night unless she was being held. Not that I minded that at all. She woke up this morning and her temp was down slightly to 101.3 and now it seems to have gone. Last I checked she was at 98.0 :) She is still a bit fussy and I actually think the cause of all of it is teething but only time will tell on that one.
Onto the 30 Days of Truth (I should probably just be calling this 30 Truths since I threw out that day thing huh?)
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
I have no issues with gay marriage. If you love someone who am I to say you can't be with them? It may not be for me but I don't see why people have problems with it.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Well as for religion I would have to say I am more of a spiritual person than a religious person. I appreciate that everyone has their own beliefs but I get upset when people try and push their religion on me. I believe in God. I believe in a higher being. I do not go to church. I will celebrate my religion in my way.
Politics are a whole other subject.... I will sum up my feelings on politics with this story. One night J & I were talking to B and telling her how wonderful she is and that she has the ability to be anything she wants in life. I then said you can be anything but don't be a bad person, like a prostitute or murderer or thief. Don't lie and lead people to believe one thing and then do another. All Jeff said was in other words Don't be a politician. I about died laughing from laughing so hard. I try and avoid talking about politics.
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Drugs are def not for me. I don't see what good that they can possibly do. Prescription drugs are even too much for some people. As for alcohol I will admit I like my adult beverages. At one time in my life I liked to have too many in a night. Now I am at a point that I drink for the taste because I enjoy it not because I want to get drunk.
I know too many people who use one or the other too frequently and have gotten themselves addicted and into a mess of trouble. I'll just stick with my wine and margaritas on occasion and be a happy girl.
xoxo....P
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Gasp! 30 Days of Truth! 14-17
It can't be?! I'm actually going to do one of these posts? (I maybe kinda forgot about them. Sorry)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.
To be totally honest I have no.freaking.clue what I would say to this.
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.The people in my life are important and I wouldn't try to live without them. I couldn't imagine the thought. So I just won't. However there is something that I have yet to figure out how to live without. Sugar! I have such a huge sweet tooth it is disgusting. I would eat candy or cake or ice cream or similar every.single.day.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.Drama! Oh dear lord. It is ridiculously absurd the drama that still pops up in my life at 29 years old. I swear people still act like they are in grade school. It pops up at work dealing with 50 year old men, people my age, and random things I hear.
And as a side note and a pre-courser to the blizzard we are supposed to get hit with tomorrow I will say I would gladly do without snow. YUCK!
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.Oh wow is this a bad time to talk about books. I'm OBSESSED do you hear me OBSESSED with reading right now. J got me a kindle for Christmas and I think he is kicking himself for it. I have my face buried in that thing the minute B goes to sleep at night. (At least I try to)
I mostly read fictional works so I honestly can't come up with a book that answers this question the way it is supposed to be answered but I have recently read 1 series and am now onto a second that are so gripping I can't put them down. The first was Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. They were simply amazing. I read all 3 of them in 6 days. I cannot wait for the movie to come out though I know I am sure to be disappointed in it. (March of 2012 for any fans that don't know that yet.)
And the series I am currently reading is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I am IN.LOVE! with the main male character of this series. Jamie Fraser. Swoon. I came home from work the other day and told Jeff I had a crush on someone. He looked at me all crazy like. Then I told him it was a character from a book and I don't think he has ever looked at me crazier. I seriously think he wanted to commit me to a mental institution on the spot. I can't help it. I told my uncle- he is also reading the books and he said he wants to be Jamie Fraser. He is that amazing. Seriously swoon.
I'm currently on book 2 Dragonfly in Amber. (Thank god for my Kindle and the instant gratification of downloading a book in 60 seconds - oh and for waiting to read a series 20 years after the first book comes out. Yes I googled it.) And I gotta say... still in love.
More from me later as we are in the middle of Snowmagedon 2011 and our power has already gone out once for a couple minutes. Plus dinner smells delish and is making my tummy all rumbly. :) If we survive this you will hear from me soon.
xoxo....P
Oh and still to go...
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.
To be totally honest I have no.freaking.clue what I would say to this.
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.The people in my life are important and I wouldn't try to live without them. I couldn't imagine the thought. So I just won't. However there is something that I have yet to figure out how to live without. Sugar! I have such a huge sweet tooth it is disgusting. I would eat candy or cake or ice cream or similar every.single.day.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.Drama! Oh dear lord. It is ridiculously absurd the drama that still pops up in my life at 29 years old. I swear people still act like they are in grade school. It pops up at work dealing with 50 year old men, people my age, and random things I hear.
And as a side note and a pre-courser to the blizzard we are supposed to get hit with tomorrow I will say I would gladly do without snow. YUCK!
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.Oh wow is this a bad time to talk about books. I'm OBSESSED do you hear me OBSESSED with reading right now. J got me a kindle for Christmas and I think he is kicking himself for it. I have my face buried in that thing the minute B goes to sleep at night. (At least I try to)
I mostly read fictional works so I honestly can't come up with a book that answers this question the way it is supposed to be answered but I have recently read 1 series and am now onto a second that are so gripping I can't put them down. The first was Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. They were simply amazing. I read all 3 of them in 6 days. I cannot wait for the movie to come out though I know I am sure to be disappointed in it. (March of 2012 for any fans that don't know that yet.)
And the series I am currently reading is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I am IN.LOVE! with the main male character of this series. Jamie Fraser. Swoon. I came home from work the other day and told Jeff I had a crush on someone. He looked at me all crazy like. Then I told him it was a character from a book and I don't think he has ever looked at me crazier. I seriously think he wanted to commit me to a mental institution on the spot. I can't help it. I told my uncle- he is also reading the books and he said he wants to be Jamie Fraser. He is that amazing. Seriously swoon.
I'm currently on book 2 Dragonfly in Amber. (Thank god for my Kindle and the instant gratification of downloading a book in 60 seconds - oh and for waiting to read a series 20 years after the first book comes out. Yes I googled it.) And I gotta say... still in love.
More from me later as we are in the middle of Snowmagedon 2011 and our power has already gone out once for a couple minutes. Plus dinner smells delish and is making my tummy all rumbly. :) If we survive this you will hear from me soon.
xoxo....P
Oh and still to go...
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Saturday, December 11, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 10, 11, 12 & 13
I bet you think I forgot about this don't you? I didn't I just haven't wanted to take the time to do it.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Well I'm quite proud of myself but I kinda just did this. In a childish manner maybe but ya know what I don't feel that these people deserve anything more at this point. (Yes I'm talking about people I have mentioned before in the forgiveness post.) I have let go, I have ended my friendship with them and I'm happy. I have eliminated stress and childish drama and am feeling free. So YAY me!
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Physically people compiment me most on my smile. I was in a wedding once where the priest told my that my smile lit up the church. After my smile I would say my eyes are a close second!
As far as personality goes I would have to say my attitude. People always think I'm so bubbly and cheerful. (I tend to hide my feelings when I'm annoyed and in a bad mood. At least to strangers and acquaintances.)
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
I would have to say that I don't get compliments on my legs. Though I personally think I have pretty ok legs. (Not my thighs but my lower leg looks good - especially in heels if I do say so myself! haha.
Otherwise I would have to say that I NEVER get compliments on my ability to organize things. I have clutter, a lot of clutter. For a long time I kinda thrived on clutter. I'm working on it. I will get better. I WILL get better - do you hear that Jeff?!
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
OK well I'm not going to write a letter 'cause I don't have time or energy for that and I don't know that I have a good answer for this "truth". Easy answer would be Bon Jovi - just because I LOVE him the music cheers me up just because I can belt it out at the top of my lungs. But an interesting answer is Korn - particularly the song All In The Family. Weird and creepy maybe but if I am pissed off I turn on that song and it kinda melts my anger away.
xoxo...P
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Well I'm quite proud of myself but I kinda just did this. In a childish manner maybe but ya know what I don't feel that these people deserve anything more at this point. (Yes I'm talking about people I have mentioned before in the forgiveness post.) I have let go, I have ended my friendship with them and I'm happy. I have eliminated stress and childish drama and am feeling free. So YAY me!
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Physically people compiment me most on my smile. I was in a wedding once where the priest told my that my smile lit up the church. After my smile I would say my eyes are a close second!
As far as personality goes I would have to say my attitude. People always think I'm so bubbly and cheerful. (I tend to hide my feelings when I'm annoyed and in a bad mood. At least to strangers and acquaintances.)
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
I would have to say that I don't get compliments on my legs. Though I personally think I have pretty ok legs. (Not my thighs but my lower leg looks good - especially in heels if I do say so myself! haha.
Otherwise I would have to say that I NEVER get compliments on my ability to organize things. I have clutter, a lot of clutter. For a long time I kinda thrived on clutter. I'm working on it. I will get better. I WILL get better - do you hear that Jeff?!
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
OK well I'm not going to write a letter 'cause I don't have time or energy for that and I don't know that I have a good answer for this "truth". Easy answer would be Bon Jovi - just because I LOVE him the music cheers me up just because I can belt it out at the top of my lungs. But an interesting answer is Korn - particularly the song All In The Family. Weird and creepy maybe but if I am pissed off I turn on that song and it kinda melts my anger away.
xoxo...P
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 9
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Well I actually have a couple of these from when I was younger. My family moved when I was starting high school and because of it I went to a new school. (That was actually my parents reason for moving.) Because of a new school at that major time in my life I lost touch with several friends.
Some are no big deal to have lost but others I still miss. One girl in particular was my best friend from 1st grade through 8th grade. Our families even knew each other before that. Another is a girl that I became friends with in 5th grade. We were together all.the.time. Then there is a guy I was friends with from 1st grade on. We were best friends, talked every day and now I have no clue where he is. The first girl I mentioned I have become friends with on facebook and we chat occasionally. It is nice to talk to her. I do miss my other friends though. I actually think of all of them often.
xoxo...P
Well I actually have a couple of these from when I was younger. My family moved when I was starting high school and because of it I went to a new school. (That was actually my parents reason for moving.) Because of a new school at that major time in my life I lost touch with several friends.
Some are no big deal to have lost but others I still miss. One girl in particular was my best friend from 1st grade through 8th grade. Our families even knew each other before that. Another is a girl that I became friends with in 5th grade. We were together all.the.time. Then there is a guy I was friends with from 1st grade on. We were best friends, talked every day and now I have no clue where he is. The first girl I mentioned I have become friends with on facebook and we chat occasionally. It is nice to talk to her. I do miss my other friends though. I actually think of all of them often.
xoxo...P
Monday, October 18, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 8
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Well for this one I'm going to keep it short simply because it isn't worth much of my time to think about it. I'm going to have to say a couple of my ex's each for their own reasons.
1 because he took advantage of my feelings for him, made me love him and then we broke up, then we were together and then we broke up. This started in high school and ended for the last time about a year before I met J. (I was seriously an idiot for going back that last time, well and a couple times before that too.)
1 because he was occasionally verbally abusive and made me feel less than beautiful and sometimes kind of worthless
and 1 because he was just a psycho.
But I have to admit that I let them treat me that way. I was young and stupid. Thankfully I grew up and found a great man.
xoxo....P
Well for this one I'm going to keep it short simply because it isn't worth much of my time to think about it. I'm going to have to say a couple of my ex's each for their own reasons.
1 because he took advantage of my feelings for him, made me love him and then we broke up, then we were together and then we broke up. This started in high school and ended for the last time about a year before I met J. (I was seriously an idiot for going back that last time, well and a couple times before that too.)
1 because he was occasionally verbally abusive and made me feel less than beautiful and sometimes kind of worthless
and 1 because he was just a psycho.
But I have to admit that I let them treat me that way. I was young and stupid. Thankfully I grew up and found a great man.
xoxo....P
Friday, October 15, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 7
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
This one is easy-peasy! There are 2 people, though I do have to say that I have never considered not living. These people are obviously Jeff and Brynn. Never in a million years would I do anything to hurt them by leaving.
Jeff is such a strong amazing man. He makes my life better. He makes me happy. He makes me feel special and he makes me feel loved. Without him I would be missing a part of myself. Without him I wouldn't have B.
Then there is B. She makes my day complete simply by smiling at me. I couldn't ever do something to hurt or disappoint my baby girl.
These 2 people mean more to me than words can say and they make everything worth it. The hard times are bearable, the bad times are ok, the ok times are good, the good times are great and those great times can't be described all because of them.
xoxo...P
This one is easy-peasy! There are 2 people, though I do have to say that I have never considered not living. These people are obviously Jeff and Brynn. Never in a million years would I do anything to hurt them by leaving.
Jeff is such a strong amazing man. He makes my life better. He makes me happy. He makes me feel special and he makes me feel loved. Without him I would be missing a part of myself. Without him I wouldn't have B.
Then there is B. She makes my day complete simply by smiling at me. I couldn't ever do something to hurt or disappoint my baby girl.
These 2 people mean more to me than words can say and they make everything worth it. The hard times are bearable, the bad times are ok, the ok times are good, the good times are great and those great times can't be described all because of them.
xoxo...P
Friday, October 8, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 5
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
There are a million things I want to do with my life!
The most important though is to be happy and to make my family happy. Nothing is as important to me as my family, and nothing will ever stop me from doing all I can to make sure they are happy and well cared for. I love my family more than anything in the whole world and our happiness means everything to me. I will do anything it takes to make sure we are all as happy as can be. How many times can one person say happy in 1 paragraph?!
I would like to volunteer. Right now I don't have time, energy or money to put towards volunteering and that is sad to me. Once we get to a point where I can be a SAHM. I would love to take a day or 2 a week to volunteer. I plan to teach B and any other children we may have that it is important to help others that have less than we do.
xoxo... P
There are a million things I want to do with my life!
The most important though is to be happy and to make my family happy. Nothing is as important to me as my family, and nothing will ever stop me from doing all I can to make sure they are happy and well cared for. I love my family more than anything in the whole world and our happiness means everything to me. I will do anything it takes to make sure we are all as happy as can be. How many times can one person say happy in 1 paragraph?!
I would like to volunteer. Right now I don't have time, energy or money to put towards volunteering and that is sad to me. Once we get to a point where I can be a SAHM. I would love to take a day or 2 a week to volunteer. I plan to teach B and any other children we may have that it is important to help others that have less than we do.
xoxo... P
Thursday, October 7, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 6
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes. I hope to never have to bury a child. I cannot imagine the heartache and the pain that I would feel because of that. I don't know how I would handle it. I think I would become an empty shell of a the person that I am now. I don't think I would know how to function or move on in my life.
I have some very good friends who recently lost their baby girl at 31 weeks gestation. The strength that they are displaying right now amazes and inspires me. Of course they are heartbroken and of course they have bad days. They always will I'm sure. But they have resolved to live their lives as they always have and always would. Seeing them and hearing what they are doing inspires me so much. I'm bringing this up because I don't know that I would be able to continue my life in the way that they are. Just hearing their news I fell apart instantly. I have cried for them and for their loss many times since then. I know they think about their daughter all the time. More than anyone can even comprehend I'm willing to bet. If I were in their shoes I don't think I would be able to show the strength that they are.
And I just told Jeff that I hope I die before he does so I don't have to live without him. Since that is another thing that makes me cry thinking about it I'm not elaborating any more.
What a sad post!
xoxo...P
Just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes. I hope to never have to bury a child. I cannot imagine the heartache and the pain that I would feel because of that. I don't know how I would handle it. I think I would become an empty shell of a the person that I am now. I don't think I would know how to function or move on in my life.
I have some very good friends who recently lost their baby girl at 31 weeks gestation. The strength that they are displaying right now amazes and inspires me. Of course they are heartbroken and of course they have bad days. They always will I'm sure. But they have resolved to live their lives as they always have and always would. Seeing them and hearing what they are doing inspires me so much. I'm bringing this up because I don't know that I would be able to continue my life in the way that they are. Just hearing their news I fell apart instantly. I have cried for them and for their loss many times since then. I know they think about their daughter all the time. More than anyone can even comprehend I'm willing to bet. If I were in their shoes I don't think I would be able to show the strength that they are.
And I just told Jeff that I hope I die before he does so I don't have to live without him. Since that is another thing that makes me cry thinking about it I'm not elaborating any more.
What a sad post!
xoxo...P
30 Days of Truth - Day 4
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Right now the biggest thing I feel I need to forgive someone for is being a terrible friend. This I am having a hard time with because it was a "best friend" (or 2). They should know what they did and I doubt they do, which is part of what makes it so hard, and what makes me sad for them. Being a friend requires effort on both sides. I am sick of being the only one who made an effort for the last year +. And it isn't like this should be news to these friends because it has been discussed before. But sadly they don't have a clue. I'll admit that I have cut back on the effort that I am putting forth, but who wouldn't after being pretty much ignored for that long?. I mean even returning a phone call I made went unanswered or unreturned on more than one occasion.
I am not by any means saying I am the perfect friend. I know I'm not. I know that in the past I was 100% guilty of the very same thing. But I like to think that I have learned from my mistakes and I feel that these friends haven't.
But the worst part is something heinous that was done to my sister by one of these "friends". I doubt they read this blog (because of the lack of effort mentioned above) but just in case....yes I now know what you did and I doubt I will actually ever get to the forgiveness stage. Actually at this point I feel like you don't deserve another thought of mine. It floors me that a "good friend" or a "best friend" as you called yourself all these years would do something like that. I don't know how I (or my sister, mom, dad, brother and husband) will ever get over the thing that you did. And if I can't get over it I can't forgive it.
I don't feel a need to elaborate because if they read this and don't know that I am talking about them and the terrible thing they did to her then not only are they the biggest slimeball I have met they are the biggest dumbass too.
The motto is Forgive and Forget right? Not this time. I know that I don't have to forgive anyone of anything. It is my choice and I think I'm better off just forgetting. Forgetting the friendship.
Right now the biggest thing I feel I need to forgive someone for is being a terrible friend. This I am having a hard time with because it was a "best friend" (or 2). They should know what they did and I doubt they do, which is part of what makes it so hard, and what makes me sad for them. Being a friend requires effort on both sides. I am sick of being the only one who made an effort for the last year +. And it isn't like this should be news to these friends because it has been discussed before. But sadly they don't have a clue. I'll admit that I have cut back on the effort that I am putting forth, but who wouldn't after being pretty much ignored for that long?. I mean even returning a phone call I made went unanswered or unreturned on more than one occasion.
I am not by any means saying I am the perfect friend. I know I'm not. I know that in the past I was 100% guilty of the very same thing. But I like to think that I have learned from my mistakes and I feel that these friends haven't.
But the worst part is something heinous that was done to my sister by one of these "friends". I doubt they read this blog (because of the lack of effort mentioned above) but just in case....yes I now know what you did and I doubt I will actually ever get to the forgiveness stage. Actually at this point I feel like you don't deserve another thought of mine. It floors me that a "good friend" or a "best friend" as you called yourself all these years would do something like that. I don't know how I (or my sister, mom, dad, brother and husband) will ever get over the thing that you did. And if I can't get over it I can't forgive it.
I don't feel a need to elaborate because if they read this and don't know that I am talking about them and the terrible thing they did to her then not only are they the biggest slimeball I have met they are the biggest dumbass too.
The motto is Forgive and Forget right? Not this time. I know that I don't have to forgive anyone of anything. It is my choice and I think I'm better off just forgetting. Forgetting the friendship.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 3
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
I'm honestly having a very hard time coming up with anything to forgive myself for. I know that sounds conceited and like I think I'm perfect. But I'm not and I definitely don't. I just tend to forgive easily. Though I am hardest on myself.
I can think of something that I'm not 100% over though.
Going back to work. I feel terrible for leaving B. I feel like I should be there with her though I know I can't be. I know it is actually best for her because with me working we have extra money coming in to make sure her life is comfortable. I also know it is good for her because she will be used to being around other people and being in other places but it is still difficult for me to leave her.
I'm honestly having a very hard time coming up with anything to forgive myself for. I know that sounds conceited and like I think I'm perfect. But I'm not and I definitely don't. I just tend to forgive easily. Though I am hardest on myself.
I can think of something that I'm not 100% over though.
Going back to work. I feel terrible for leaving B. I feel like I should be there with her though I know I can't be. I know it is actually best for her because with me working we have extra money coming in to make sure her life is comfortable. I also know it is good for her because she will be used to being around other people and being in other places but it is still difficult for me to leave her.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
30 Days of Truth - Day 2
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
I am proud to say there are a few things I can say on this topic as well as yesterday's. This is a much happier topic.
I love that I am usually a positive person. I tend to see the good in people and situations. I don't see a point to be sad and depressed all the time. Sure I have bad days but overall I love like and I love the people in my life. They wouldn't be in my life if they weren't good people.
I also love that I love with my whole heart. Sure I have been heartbroken a few times because of it (and I don't just mean by guys - and I say guys because lets be honest Jeff is the first man I ever dated - I mean friends too.) Because I have learned how to do that I have more love in my life than I imagined possible. The love I have for my husband and my daughter rocks me to my core and without it I would be a totally different person.
I love that I have the ability to put the little things behind me and move on.
I love that I love life!
I am proud to say there are a few things I can say on this topic as well as yesterday's. This is a much happier topic.
I love that I am usually a positive person. I tend to see the good in people and situations. I don't see a point to be sad and depressed all the time. Sure I have bad days but overall I love like and I love the people in my life. They wouldn't be in my life if they weren't good people.
I also love that I love with my whole heart. Sure I have been heartbroken a few times because of it (and I don't just mean by guys - and I say guys because lets be honest Jeff is the first man I ever dated - I mean friends too.) Because I have learned how to do that I have more love in my life than I imagined possible. The love I have for my husband and my daughter rocks me to my core and without it I would be a totally different person.
I love that I have the ability to put the little things behind me and move on.
I love that I love life!
Monday, October 4, 2010
30 Days of Truths...
I know some of you have heard of this and I'm excited to do it. It will make me be totally honest with myself. I'm happy to be participating with my lovely ladies on my anniversary board and will be including my answers here as well.
Here is the list of the 30 Truths:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
So here is todays truth: Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
After sitting down to think about this I honestly don't know where to start. There are so many things that I want to change about myself but am normally scared to think about and haven't done anything about. YET.
First I would have to say that I hate that I am scared to speak up for myself. If someone says something that I don't agree with or insults me or anything along those lines I just ignore it. It bothers me a great deal but I don't want to deal with confrontation or worrying about hurting someone else's feelings. However, if someone says something about any of my family or good friends I will be among the first to say something to stand up for them. (that part I like.)
That sort of leads into my second thing I hate about myself. I am wayyyy too emotional. I take things too personally and I need to learn how to not do that. There are somethings that upset me that really shouldn't and unfortunately I don't know how to stop letting them get to me.
Another thing I hate about myself is my lack of organizational skills. I really need to work harder at it. When it came to my school work I was Obsessive to say the least about how things were and that they were all where they needed to be. At work I like to have my things organized. Sure my desk gets cluttered and messy but I know where all my files are and things get straightened up and I'm much much much more organized than at home. I know it drive J nuts but I just dump things. The house is clean as in it isn't dirty but it is messy and I need to work on it. I need to take the time to work on it.
I need to add in that I also hate that I am scared (and a little lazy) to start doing what I want. I really want to start my own business with wedding related things, planning, invites, etc. But I am scared to death for about a million reasons. I know I need to get over it and just do it. Especially if I want to be able to spend more time with B
I need to take the time to work on all of these things and I just don't know where to begin. (Which is another thing I hate about myself.)
Here is the list of the 30 Truths:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
So here is todays truth: Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
After sitting down to think about this I honestly don't know where to start. There are so many things that I want to change about myself but am normally scared to think about and haven't done anything about. YET.
First I would have to say that I hate that I am scared to speak up for myself. If someone says something that I don't agree with or insults me or anything along those lines I just ignore it. It bothers me a great deal but I don't want to deal with confrontation or worrying about hurting someone else's feelings. However, if someone says something about any of my family or good friends I will be among the first to say something to stand up for them. (that part I like.)
That sort of leads into my second thing I hate about myself. I am wayyyy too emotional. I take things too personally and I need to learn how to not do that. There are somethings that upset me that really shouldn't and unfortunately I don't know how to stop letting them get to me.
Another thing I hate about myself is my lack of organizational skills. I really need to work harder at it. When it came to my school work I was Obsessive to say the least about how things were and that they were all where they needed to be. At work I like to have my things organized. Sure my desk gets cluttered and messy but I know where all my files are and things get straightened up and I'm much much much more organized than at home. I know it drive J nuts but I just dump things. The house is clean as in it isn't dirty but it is messy and I need to work on it. I need to take the time to work on it.
I need to add in that I also hate that I am scared (and a little lazy) to start doing what I want. I really want to start my own business with wedding related things, planning, invites, etc. But I am scared to death for about a million reasons. I know I need to get over it and just do it. Especially if I want to be able to spend more time with B
I need to take the time to work on all of these things and I just don't know where to begin. (Which is another thing I hate about myself.)
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