Monday, October 4, 2010

30 Days of Truths...

I know some of you have heard of this and I'm excited to do it. It will make me be totally honest with myself. I'm happy to be participating with my lovely ladies on my anniversary board and will be including my answers here as well.
Here is the list of the 30 Truths:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

So here is todays truth:   Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
After sitting down to think about this I honestly don't know where to start. There are so many things that I want to change about myself but am normally scared to think about and haven't done anything about. YET.
First I would have to say that I hate that I am scared to speak up for myself. If someone says something that I don't agree with or insults me or anything along those lines I just ignore it. It bothers me a great deal but I don't want to deal with confrontation or worrying about hurting someone else's feelings. However, if someone says something about any of my family or good friends I will be among the first to say something to stand up for them. (that part I like.)

That sort of leads into my second thing I hate about myself. I am wayyyy too emotional. I take things too personally and I need to learn how to not do that. There are somethings that upset me that really shouldn't and unfortunately I don't know how to stop letting them get to me.

Another thing I hate about myself is my lack of organizational skills. I really need to work harder at it. When it came to my school work I was Obsessive to say the least about how things were and that they were all where they needed to be. At work I like to have my things organized. Sure my desk gets cluttered and messy but I know where all my files are and things get straightened up and I'm much much much more organized than at home. I know it drive J nuts but I just dump things. The house is clean as in it isn't dirty but it is messy and I need to work on it. I need to take the time to work on it.

I need to add in that I also hate that I am scared (and a little lazy) to start doing what I want. I really want to start my own business with wedding related things, planning, invites, etc. But I am scared to death for about a million reasons. I know I need to get over it and just do it. Especially if I want to be able to spend more time with B

I need to take the time to work on all of these things and I just don't know where to begin. (Which is another thing I hate about myself.)

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